DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

Do you know any dysfunctional families?  Are you part of a dysfunctional family?

I used to think they were in the minority, now I'm beginning to wonder if there are truly ANY functional families at all.  It seems everyone I talk to has some kind of issue going on within their family that tears at the heart.  This got me to thinking "What does the Bible say about dysfunctional families?"  So I began to think back through some of the major families we know in the Bible.  Turns out dysfunction in families has been around since the beginning.  Take a look.


Adam and Eve – had Cain and Abel. Cain was rebellious, failing to handle the sacrifice as God had commanded. As a result, God favored Abel’s offering over Cain’s. This caused jealousy between the brothers. Cain killed Abel. (Genesis 4: 5-10)



Noah – Noah had 3 sons: Ham, Shem and Japheth. Ham “uncovered his father’s nakedness” (which some translate to mean he sodomized him) after the flood.(Genesis 9:20-24)

Lot – After God sends Abram out of the land of UR and into the land where HE wants him to go, he and Lot cannot get along. There is always bickering over the land and the wells, etc. So Abram tells Lot to choose which way he wants to go. Lot picks the side he thinks is the most lush and green and ends up in Sodom, a land filled with homosexuality and wickedness. God comes to destroy Sodom, but allows Lot and his wife and 2 daughters to escape. His wife is killed so it is only he and the 2 girls on the outskirts of town, trying to stay alive. The girls get their father drunk and both sleep with him and get pregnant by him. (Genesis 19: 1-36)



Abraham and Sara – Sara offers her handmaiden as a surrogate to  because she is childless. Then gets mad because he does what she asks and he fathers a child by Hagar. Ishmael and Isaac were never close as brothers, but an enmity was between them from the beginning. (Genesis 16; 21: 1-21)



Jacob and Esau – Isaac and Rebekah have 2 sons, Jacob and Esau.  Isaac favored Esau because he was a hunter and a "man's man".  Rebekah favored Jacob and a "homebody".  Jacob cheats Esau out of his birthright with the help and encouragement of his mother. He has to run away from home to escape Esau’s rage. He goes to work for Uncle Laban but Uncle Laban tricks him into marrying the wrong daughter, then makes him work 7 more years for his beloved Rachel. He has 12 sons by the 2 women but he favors Rachel’s children, Joseph and Benjamin. (Genesis 25: 26-34; 27: 1-43; 29-30)



Joseph – Because of his father’s partiality towards him, his other brothers are so jealous they seek to kill him. One of them has pity on him and convinces the others to put him in a well instead, planning to come back and rescue him later. They deceive their father into thinking an animal killed him after they sell him to some traveling gypsies. (Genesis 37)



David – Out of all the sons of Jesse, God picks David to be the next king and to be the line through which Jesus will come. Though scripture does not elaborate on it, I’m sure there was probably quite a lot of jealousy over that fact among the brothers. Then he becomes king, is highly favored of God being called a man after God’s own heart. He has numerous wives but he looks upon the wife of another, sleeps with her and then has her husband killed in battle. He has a son who rapes his sister and another son who plots the overthrow of his father’s throne. (I Samuel 16: 1-13; II Sam 11: 1-27; 13: 1-14; 15-18)


Solomon – One of David’s sons, Solomon, was born to the woman he committed adultery with, Bathsheba. Solomon was considered the wisest man who ever lived yet had took hundreds of women to be "wives" and they turned him away from being obedient to the Lord.  (I Kings 10: 23, 24; 11: 1-4)
These are just a few of the more familiar families of the Bible, but I think it gives a clear picture that families are made up of sinful people. There are no perfect families because there are no perfect people. God Himself was a perfect parent but He only had ONE perfect child, and it wasn't me or you! It was JESUS.


So do we give up our quest for a godly home and a godly family? Absolutely not!! We continue to seek, on a personal level, to be all that God wants each of us to be, to be in relationship with Him, obedient to Him and committed to Him. We teach our children and grandchildren God's Word, we model before them to the best of our ability how to follow Christ and pray for them to commit their lives to Him.

In reality, no family will be truly "functional" til we get to Heaven and sin is eradicated. But, until then, we must contine to "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness", love each other, forgive each other and pray for each other without ceasing.

FRUITFUL in the LAND OF SUFFERING

II Timothy 3:1 " But realize this...that in the last days, difficult times will come."

Many are suffering today. Our economic crisis is wreaking havoc on lives of famlilies across our nation. It is in these tough times that our faith will be tested. It is in the furnace of affliction that what is within will rise to the top.

Os Hillman has a word today, for those who are suffering. May you be found fruitful in the place of YOUR suffering today:


Fruitful Suffering

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1

by Os Hillman

Wednesday, February 25 2009.

.."It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering." - Genesis 41:52


Joseph named his second son Ephraim. Ephraim was given to him after he had been delivered from his suffering of 13 years. Joseph said that he named him this because God had made him fruitful in the land of his suffering. Ephraim means "twice fruitful."


Joseph was fruitful in two instances. He was fruitful during his time of adversity and in his prosperity. When God brings us into a time of suffering, it can be a fruitful time. It's rare for us to see the fruit during the suffering period. But know that the roots are going deep into the spiritual soil of our soul because of our pressing in to God during our time of suffering. This is producing a work in our character that cannot be seen until it finishes the process. Such was the case for Joseph.


It was not until several years after such a time of suffering that I began to see the fruit of the trials that the Lord allowed me to experience. How grateful I am to understand some of the "why" that has led to a new life in Him that I would never have had without this period.
Samson had great anointing but lacked character. We see many today who have great anointing yet lack character. But God is rising up Josephs who not only have great anointing for these days but also great character. Suffering produces character.


If you find yourself in a time of suffering, now is the time to press into God. Let your roots grow deeper. Whenever there is a famine, tree roots are forced to drive deeper into the soil to find water. These times are designed to create such a deep-rooted faith that our natures will be changed forever.

A GIFT FOR ALL SEASONS

He is a forgotten man.

His role in history was significant, yet little is known about him and little is made of him. He is almost like an "extra" in a cast of famous characters. There are no religions built around him as was the case with his wife. He was never cannonized, or made a "saint".

He was of royal lineage, being a descendent of King David, yet he was a poor man by Bethlehem standards, as he only had 2 turtledoves to offer at the time of sacrifice...the lowest of offerings accepted.

When time came for he and his wife to go to Bethlehem to pay their taxes, he could not afford a suite at the Bethlehem Hilton. Instead, he was grateful for a warm dry stable for them to spend the night in as she was expecting her first child and the time of delivery was imminent.

No, he was not royalty. He was a simple carpenter. His name was Joseph.

In the CHRISTmas story, Mary gets all the notice....and all well deserved. But what about Joseph? Joseph's role was certainly significant too. After all, he was just as chosen to be Jesus's earthly father as Mary was to be his mother. No....an angel did not appear to him and call him out, nonetheless, he was handpicked by God for this extremely important role.

Joseph would be the one the little boy would look up to, the one He would follow around the carpenter shop, trying to hammer nails into scraps of wood. He would be the one Jesus would call "Abba". He would take him to the synagogue where the scriptures would be read and he would teach him about His Heavenly Father.

Joseph was obedient to His Father. When the angels appeared to him in a dream, telling him it was ok to take Mary for his wife, he obeyed. Most of us gloss over that when reading the CHRISTmas story. However, we do not realize what it must have cost Joseph to do that.

His wife-to-be was pregnant and she was not yet officially married. By Hebrew law, she could be stoned. Joseph wielded the power to have her stoned or to give her a bill of divorcement. His nature is revealed when scripture tells us that "he had a mind to put her away privately". But, after the angel appeared to him, he was to take her as his wife...."marry her but not know her intimately until she gave birth" (Matt. 1: 24, 25) Can you imagine what the townspeople must have said? Can you imagine the ridicule he must have endured to take this tainted woman as his bride? For surely no one believed her incredible story that she was with child by the Holy Spirit!!! Would YOU have believed her?!

I think Joseph really loved Mary. It could have been a pre-arranged marriage...the Bible does not really provide us with those details. But for him to have wanted to "put her away privately" tells me that Joseph was kind and that although he must have been terribly hurt by the news that she was pregnant, he did not want to harm her in any way...and that was BEFORE the angel appeared to him. His heart was tender toward her. He thought more of her than he did himself.
His love "suffered long and was kind." It was not selfish, nor easily provoked, not conceited or boastful. It bore a lot. It rejoiced in the real truth. He loved her with God's love. (I Cor. 13)

Joseph was the one who delivered Mary's baby...the very Son of God. He heard His first cry. He held him first. He provided for Him. He protected Him, again listening and obeying as the angel warned him in a dream to flee Herod.

Yes, Joseph is forgotten by many.....but NOT by God. God used Joseph in the life of Jesus in many different ways. But he was not there by accident. God chose Joseph to be Jesus's earthly father.

God also chose you and me to play the roles He has assigned to us. I am not my husband's wife by accident. God chose us for each other. I am not mother to my son and daughter by accident...God chose me to be their mother. I have a role to play in their lives and the most important thing I can do is to listen to my Heavenly Father, so that I, like Joseph, might be obedient in fulfilling the destiny He had for me from the foundation of the world. I might be insignificant on planet earth, but to God I have a purpose that only I can fulfill. However, I cannot fulfill it with out Him.

What is the role God has called YOU to? Are you trusting Him today to help you live out His plans for you, or are you fighting Him all the way? How different would the CHRISTmas story be today had Joseph refused to obey God? What if he had said he wanted no part of Mary? What would he have missed? It was not an easy role for him. He undoubtedly suffered much ridicule and hardship because of it. Yet he got to be a part of bringing the Son of God into the world, to hold Him in his arms, to cuddle Him close, to sing to Him, to teach Him to talk and how to hold a hammer and how to make a table. He walked with Him on a daily basis. Look at the blessings he would have missed had he said 'No' to God. What blessings will you miss if you say 'NO'?